The Birthday Chocolatier

I hoped to treat myself to a hot chocolate, but time slipped by whilst caught up in a morning meeting. On the way home I called in to a chocolatier. Sitting on the corner of a beautiful Victorian sandstone building with large arch windows, it seemed opulent through the glass. I assumed its speciality was Belgian or such like. I avoided it for months.

Then I stepped inside.

I was wrong!
I was in Turkish nirvana!
The assistant explained to me. Everything was from Turkey.
I pointed at her djezma on a shelf, which had a base like an electric kettle. And all the little coffee cups, prava kafa in sachets.
Yes, there was Delight too and special sumptuous dates.
I told her it was my birthday and I was treating myself.
She asked what I did.
I said I wrote sometimes.
She told me her life story.

A young woman with four sons, who had survived abuse as a child, from her father, her mother’s partner, care homes, her partner. She’d been through the mill she said, but she was as okay as she could be. She became Muslim and it helped her to find stability and security.

I told her I once worked at Women’s Aid and she said that the organisation was her lifeline, helping her flee and resettle.
I wanted to hug her, but she was on the other side of the counter. So I put my hand out to her and she took it.
You’re okay now, I said. I am, she replied.
She gave me a birthday treat and I bought a beautiful wooden egg with small praline eggs  inside.
Poignant really, am also reading Chocolat by Joanne Harris again.
I’ll go back for gifts.
Time came for the bus home.

Don’t walk past the chocolatier, there’s more than cocoa inside.

New Year’s Resolution or Revolution!

It’s in between time. Almost New Year. Easy to get lost in a no man’s land of dreams for the future, reflecting on the past. All the daily drama of a ridiculous power fight seem a long time ago and soon will be part of last year’s story. If I have a NYR it is this – before saying anything, let it pass through three gates: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? !!

Letting go is an interesting thing. I read recently in the British Heart Foundation magazine an article by a woman who, like me, had to alter her life so much so that many friends disappeared. It seems that it’s not possible to be interesting enough if one doesn’t partake in alcohol consumption in order to socialise. Although I’ve never been a serious or heavy drinker, I am more aware now than ever, just how much alcohol has played a role in my life, in culture, in work. Be a part or miss out. It now feels like so much time has been lost to the dramas that alcohol induces in people, those strange behaviours. But it’s best to leave it all behind.

I wonder too if people are afraid of someone with heart failure. Which is ridiculous and laughable. If we haven’t learned to face death as  mature adults through losing significant others, then we are  truly in greater trouble than the person in front of us fuelled by medications! I am not feart of the future or any person. Things are different now – that is all.

I’m using this precious time to write a second book, research and create a piece of art for my second OCA assignment, connect with new people similar of situation, playing with needle felting, embroidery and felt. The love of colour, art, yarn, books, sustains me day to day.

Then there are dreams of far away places. Keep making, writing, dreaming.

Healthy hearty cuisine – today’s is coleslaw (some have said my coleslaws are epic!) – adding cranberries (dried), walnuts, apple, to cabbage, carrot and red onion. Zero-fat yoghurt, olive oil, lemon juice, cider vinegar, pepper. Enjoy the zing and crunch!

Felt Acorns via Pinterest

On The Eleventh Hour

Forty million.
War, disease and famine.
In conflict a hundred years later.
Empire, colonialism, laissez-faire, slavery, serfdom.
Mother Earth and all her babies want change.
So remember on the eleventh hour.
And vow to respect the planet we live on.
Move on, move along.


Create markets of respect.
Make with love in mind, not profit.
They died and saved us.
Make it a life worth living for the young.

No more war.

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